When I got this yarn from eBay, I surprised myself. I’m not really one for the orange-russet palate, and I don’t really like light blue with anything even vaguely warmish. And I’m not really into cashmere for socks, as decadent as it is (actually, that’s probably it: I’m probably discomfited by decadence). But the colours are my mother’s palate: she loves autumn colours, and this yarn suits her to a tee. So I bought it with the intention of knitting her some luxurious socks. These are they.

I can’t believe how much I have loved knitting these socks.

Yarn: Jojoland’s Quartette. Now, alas, discontinued, but I shall be haunting Ravelry’s destash and swap groups, just in case.

The yarn is bliss: it’s springy, buttery, and so, so soft. Working with this yarn is such a textile delight that I would probably sleep with it if it asked me. As the lace emerged, the colours made me think of the blue sky over the desert, hence the name.

And the pattern was fun, too: I have, in the past, found myself working on socks out of obligation, searching for the groove that I see so many other bloggers getting into with their socks. And this time, I found it. Cookie A’s Monkeys, worked from the toes-up. I have decided I love toe-up socks; they make a lot of sense to me and seem like the best way of making socks. The short row heel was a delightful pirouette, and has, for a change, provided enough space for one to slide one’s foot into the sock — I’ve had trouble with short row heels before, where they’ve been far too tight. Not these babies.

As well as being a delight (a bliss) to knit, these socks have brought a little drama and excitement with them. Readers who have been paying attention will have realised that these are the very socks that M became involved in, during the fateful incident involving a needle and the fleshier parts of his foot. These are socks baptised with blood.

And so, they have been bundled up into a little paper sock sleeve, with a short biography and care instructions, and they will be shortly winging their way towards their new owner, my Mum. She’ll love them, I’m certain.

(I had to cast on a pair for myself with the leftover yarn to ensure I could bear to part with these. I don’t think this is a problem, provided I don’t run out of yarn too soon to complete a pair of footlets for myself. If I do…I’m not above swiping them while Mum’s back is turned.)

So I cast on the second sock. Had the toe completely worked, and had just begun to work the lace pattern over the instep. I left it on the floor while I had my dinner.

M came in, carrying a delicious bowl of hot pumpkin soup for me. He gasped, stumbled, and held up a foot with a DPN embedded inches deep.

See that bend in the DPN there? That’s the part that was inside his foot. It’s a miracle he didn’t hit any arteries or tendons or something.

He took care of the removal of the DPN while I looked away, and I gathered gauze (I did a first aid course a year or two ago, and have a weirdly huge supply of gauze on hand) and tamped it onto his poor, abused foot to stem the bleeding. There was a lot of blood at first, but then it stopped, so we decided not to go to Emergency; we cleaned it up, disinfected it and put a fresh wad of gauze down and I bandaged his foot.

I feel awful. My poor, croissant-baking housemate. I keep offering to make tea and fluff pillows. I know it’s not like I stabbed him myself, but I still kind of feel responsible. Sorry M.

Collateral damage: the DPN he had wedged into his foot was a live needle, with 16 merry stitches that suddenly found themselves orphaned. I was able to rescue them, although the use of gauze was not required for that first aid. The second Desert Monkey continues unhindered, although I feel a little guilty for how much I love it, considering all the blood loss it caused.

I don’t think that’s overstating the matter, although I could be jinxing things by discussing the matter out loud. Due to some pretty rad dedication on my part, the first sock was finished by Sunday morning, the ribbing finished while M brought another hot batch of croissants out of the oven for his family to celebrate Mothers’ Day.

I secretly hoped these socks would be ready as a Mothers’ Day present, even though I haven’t seen my particular mother today. (Hi Mum!)

They’re perfect in every way. My Mum has the same sized foot as me, so I tried them on as I went. The pattern is actually based on Cookie A’s Monkeys, but the combination of toe-up and the yarn I’m using kinda changes the impact of the pattern. That’s okay, though, because I think it still looks pretty good. I’m calling them Desert Monkeys; the colourway makes me think of the desert and the broad blue sky.

I can’t believe how much I love these socks. I’ve already weighed the yarn to estimate if I’ll have enough for a pair of footlets for me when I’m finished Mum’s socks (I will). That short row heel at the back there is a work of art, ART I tell you! I’ve had some bad luck with short row heels, where the heel is too snug to even slide up the foot or is twisted weirdly to one side. But not this baby. Seriously, the pictures don’t do this sock justice. It’s soft (20% cashmere, that’s how soft), springy and light, with excellent stitch definition and colours that glow in the sunlight. I couldn’t ask for more for a present for someone as lovely as my Mum. I’m not sure she reads the blag, so I’m going to write up a little scroll or sock casing with the sock’s biography, raving over its many virtues and urgently reminding her that it must be hand-washed.

One of my Mum’s finest qualities is that she appreciates handmade gifts. An avid and extremely talented seamstress herself, she knows the tears and love that go into a handcrafted accomplishment. I know she’ll take the time to hand-wash the cashmere lace socks I’ve knitted her, and she’ll love them every time she slips them on. Onya Mum, and thanks for all the fish.

My stash is full of sock yarns, my skills are up to the challenge, and I have half a dozen pairs of KnitPicks’ delicious slippery DPNs in sock sizes. So what’s wrong with me?

I’m probably one of the few people who has sock disasters. Too big, heel in a weird place (on top of the instep, for example, or maybe halfway up the thigh?), too small, too difficult to actually put on, too long, too…pooling weirdly. I’ve actually had sock setbacks.

I’m not about to dwell on these. Today I cast on (using Judy’s Magic Cast On, the only one I can bear to use) a pair of socks. First time in months, and months, and months. I love to work my socks toe-up, since I can try them on as I go.

Interesting (or not) facts about these socks:

• I won the yarn on eBay. I was the only person who bid, but I consider it a win and celebrated accordingly.
• The yarn is 20% cashmere, which is about as much decadence as I can bear for socks at this time of life.
• Judy (of cast on fame, see above) was my third word. We had a beautiful orange cat called Judy, and after “Mummy” and “Daddy”, my third word was “Judy”, which was usually sung out as “Ju-dy, Ju-dy, Ju-dy”. I still miss her.
• Judy is also the name of one of my favourite cartoonists, Judy Horacek.

Those are all the facts I have about these socks at this time. Hopefully more will come to light as I work on them.